


Never More Than I You

by Cleem123



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, angsty, kevin knows what Joaquin did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 21:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10648578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleem123/pseuds/Cleem123
Summary: Anon requested "a future fic where Kevin finds out the truth and Joaquin is trying to win him back by showing Kevin how much of their relationship was real. Like how he remembers the food he likes and doesn't like and how he likes the way he smells and all these small details. I would like to see how far he'd go to win him back"Trigger Warnings: mentions of gangs, tattoos, blood, and a very mild attempt at self harm





	Never More Than I You

“Joaquin? Joaquin? Joaquin!” Joaquin groaned, but made his way up the stairs of the bar into FP’s office.

  
“Yes?” He said, any façade of happiness or respect having walked out the door with Kevin.

  
“Wow.” FP laughed. It vividly reminded Joaquin of when he first knew he was screwed, of when he confessed to the gang-leader that ‘he likes me, for real.’ “You need to get over him, kid. Did you really think it was gonna work out? He’s the sheriff’s son. And you’re a gang-banger, trailer trash.” Joaquin didn’t believe it. What he and Kevin had was special. Or, what he and Kevin used to have had been special.

  
“Is there something you want?” Joaquin deadpanned

  
“Yeah. I want you to get your head out of your ass and start helping out around here again.” FP spewed angrily. “Sure, the Keller kid broke it off, but that doesn’t mean that your job is over. We aren’t in the clear yet, Joaquin.” He softened slightly. “Come on, we all need you. Your family needs you. So, what do you say?” Joaquin nodded dumbly and left the room. He left the bar. It was raining, he didn’t notice.

  
" _Your family needs you.”_ The words replayed themselves over and over in his head. Were the serpents his family? Was this his life now? Spying on cops and ‘helping’ teenagers with their shady drug deals. Two years ago, Joaquin would have been thrilled to be included in the family of the serpents. But now, all Joaquin could think of was the way Kevin looked at him. The way Kevin laughed. The way Kevin cried. Joaquin didn’t know much about family, but if asked when he had felt the most at home and loved, he wouldn’t say with the serpents or even with his brother. He would say the Kevin Keller, the sheriff’s son, was his home.

  
Joaquin wasn’t sure when he reached the trailer. He wasn’t sure when the rain became the water of his shower. He wasn’t sure when the tears started to stream down his face. All Joaquin was sure of, in that moment, was the damned snake tattoo on his arm. “Fuck.” His broken cry echoed through the empty trailer. Joaquin dropped to the floor of his shower. “Get off, get off of me.” He screamed, viciously scrapping at the tattoo. He clawed at it, tried to rub off the skin stained by the black pigment. He could hear strangled sounds, grunts, and cries, but he had no idea where they were coming from. Snot dripped down his face. His tears collected at the end of his nose and chin. He kept clawing, but still, that damned snake remained. Joaquin didn’t stop when the arm started bleeding. He didn’t stop when the water became icy. He didn’t stop.

  
_“Was any of it real?”_

_“Kev, you don’t understand. This is important to me. You are important to me.”_

_“No! I’m fucking not.” Kevin laughed, but it wasn’t the happy go lucky laugh that Joaquin had grown to know, to love. “What’s important to you is helping you’re stupid gang. God, Joaquin!” Kevin tried to blink away the tears. “Really it’s my fault, I should’ve known this wasn’t real. I should’ve known that no one in Riverdale gets a happy ending.” With that, Kevin stormed away, and two young hearts shattered._

Maybe he cried himself to sleep, maybe his brother had gotten home and taken him to bed, maybe he sleep-walked to his bed. Joaquin didn’t know how he ended up in his bed the next morning, but he didn’t care. However, he did know why he had woken up with tears in his eyes. As if on autopilot, he got up. He got dressed, pulling his jacket on to hide the tattoo and the bloody scars and scrapes covering it. He left the trailer and started to walk north.

  
Joaquin didn’t know what he expected to happen on his walk from the Southside trailer park to the Keller residence, but he didn’t expect to have company. And he really didn’t expect that company to be Jughead Jones.

  
“Joaquin.” Jughead said solemnly. Every interaction they had ever had was solemn. Even when Joaquin and Kevin were together, Joaquin and Jughead were never very friendly.

“Jughead.” Joaquin responded. The walk continued in silence until the two reached the line. The line between south and north. There wasn’t a literal line, no, Riverdale was much too vague for that. But it seemed like the air changed, the actual oxygen breathed in was different. They both just stood there, as if crossing this line was something life-changing and not something they had done millions of times before. Jughead broke the silence.

“Joaquin, what are you doing? You know my dad’ll be pissed.” Jughead seemed broken, more than usual. He seemed like the mention of his dad and all that had recently happened physically hurt him.

“What do you think I’m doing? At this point, I couldn’t give a shit about your dad, about the serpents, about anything there.” Joaquin gestured angrily towards the Southside.

“The one thing I have ever cared about is gone. And I’m gonna do whatever the hell it takes to salvage the only good thing about the last year of my life.” Joaquin’s voice progressively got louder until he was yelling at Jughead.

“Um, okay. That’s great and all, but Romeo oh Romeo, all that won’t save you from the wrath of the Gang you’re leaving behind. Or the wrath of Keller.” He scoffed, a smirk appearing on his face. “I’m not really sure which one is worse.”

Joaquin stopped. The reality of what he was about to do finally sinking in. “I don’t want to be a gangbanger all of my life.” He could feel tears well up in his eyes, but the discipline driven into him from childhood was still present and prevented him from showing emotion. “Kevin is the only good thing I’ve ever known. I need him. I- I love him.” At that admission, Joaquin felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. Likewise, Jughead took a step back.

“Betty said you did.”

“Said I did what?” Joaquin asked, alarmed.

“Loved Kevin.”

“What? How did she..? I didn’t even...”

“She just knew. Girl thing I guess. He loves you too.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Well, yeah I heard you. But I mean. What do you mean?” Joaquin couldn’t process what was being said. His hand immediately reached to cover his arm. To cover the mark that was already hiding beneath his leather jacket and the bloody scrapes.

Jughead smirked, “If you are going where I think you’re going, then you already know what it means.”

The sentence hadn’t fully left Jughead’s mouth before Joaquin started running. He crossed the line. His lungs filled with the new air, and he ran. He ran because Kevin loved him. He ran because he loved Kevin. And, maybe the most important reason, Joaquin ran because Kevin Keller was heartbroken, and it was his fault.  
When Joaquin approached the Keller residence, his body began to move without conscious thought. He masterfully scaled the tree and knocked on Kevin’s window with no thought besides _‘what will he think? Will he take me back?’_ Joaquin looked into the window, and there he was. Kevin Keller, an angel in human’s clothing, was lying on his bed, facing away from the window and Joaquin. He knocked again. When Kevin didn’t move, Joaquin attempted to open the window from the outside and was slightly surprised when the window moved, granting him entry.

“Kevin. Um, it’s me. Joaquin.” Joaquin was suddenly shy. It felt weird to be shy around someone he was used to being comfortable with.  
Kevin didn’t move.

“Look, Kev,” The boy flinched at the sound of the nickname. “Uh, sorry.” Joaquin quickly apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, really I came here to apologize. To explain that I never should have let you go. I never should have let fucking FP and the serpents manipulate me. And, I’m not trying to shift the blame, I know I’m at fault here. And I’m not expecting you to take me back. I understand, what I did is…unforgivable.

“But you asked me if any of it was real. And that is a question that deserves an answer. Less than two years ago, I was worthless. I was a shell of a kid, trying to find someplace where he could fit in. But now, well now I’m worth something.” Joaquin drew his fingers through his hair, taking a breath and preparing for what he had to say.

“It’s not because of anything I’ve done. Actually it’s all because of you. I’m worth something because now I know. I know that you only eat fries if they have ketchup _and_ mustard on them. I know that your shampoo smells like sandalwood and your body wash smells like freshly cut grass. I know that, even though he gets on your nerves, you thank the world for your dad every single day. You have amazing taste in fashion, specifically shoes. You could never keep a secret from Betty, not even us. I know that sometimes you think that all anyone wants is to use you to figure out their sexuality or for a quip.

“And because I know all of that, because I know you, I am worth something. Or I was. But then I hurt you. I hurt you, and I don’t deserve to be worth something anymore. I don’t deserve to know what I do about you anymore.” Kevin still hadn’t moved. Joaquin knew that he shouldn’t expect him to. He had no right to expect anything from Kevin Keller. “I don’t expect anything to come from this, but you have the right to know.” Joaquin gathered his courage. _Here goes nothing._

“Kevin Keller, I love you.” The room was silent. No one moved. It was seconds, but Joaquin could have sworn he stood there for years.

  
There were tears in his eyes as he began to leave the room. Joaquin wasn’t sure what he was going to do know. He was lost. But for a moment, for a single second, Joaquin knew that everything would be okay. As he made his way down the old oak, he heard it.

“Never more than I love you, Joaquin. Never more.”


End file.
